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The Importance of Self-care

  • Writer: Kayleigh Lucas
    Kayleigh Lucas
  • Oct 10, 2020
  • 5 min read

If you are reading this on the day of publication then today is World Mental Health Day.

Talking about mental health is always something I have been passionate about, my dad was a Community Psychiatric Nurse so that will be where I got it from. I was particularly focussed on breaking down stigma and the use of terminology – if we all go around saying we feel depressed and anxious we can often not realise the severity when those with depression or anxiety express their concerns. They are now commonly seen as every day words.

This was all before I experienced depression, after my worrying become too difficult to control. At that time, whilst I sought out help in the form of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy fairly quickly, I didn’t talk about my own mental health challenges – except with close family and friends. I kept it hidden – the opposite I what I had been championing most of my life.

Now I am open and honest about my anxiety, I talk about it, how it affects me and I am quick to identify when it is reaching a higher level than normal.

Recently I made a massive life decision leaving behind everything I knew, all of my comforts and safety nets, to start training for ordained ministry three weeks ago. As expected my anxiety levels were higher than I would normally expect – but, that was to be expected – these were anxious times.

Two weeks in I was feeling pleased with how I was managing to keep my anxiety under control, that was until I woke up one morning to find I had spent the night chewing the inside of my mouth. My body’s way of telling me I wasn’t in as much control as I thought I was.

This was difficult to experience – as it always is when you think you’re doing well. It took me a couple of days to come to terms with this and I realised that the reason was that I hadn’t been practicing self-care as well as I might normally. Whilst I was still going out for runs, this was more for routine and not wanting to break the habit then for the benefit I got out of it.

I have spent the last week reflecting on the importance of self-care.

Mental health statistics indicate that 1 in 4 of us will suffer from a mental health condition at some points in our life. This varies from lifelong conditions that require constant management to short cases of depression that once treated never return. With all that has happened in 2020, it won’t be a surprise that people’s mental health has had an impact. On Mind’s page for World Mental Health Day 2020 it states:

“According to our research, with over 16,000 people, we know that more than half of adults (60%) and over two thirds of young people (68%) said their mental health got worse during lockdown. We know that many have developed new mental health problems as a result of the pandemic and, for some of us, existing mental health problems have gotten worse.” https://www.mind.org.uk/get-involved/world-mental-health-day-2020

For their campaign this year Mind are encouraging us to Do One Thing to positively affect our mental health.

Self-care is something that everyone can benefit from, whether they have or are experiencing a mental health condition or whether they never have. We have all experienced what it feels like when work or home life gets too much that we find ourselves needing that time and space to recover. Self-care is often, in the busy-ness of society, something that gets pushed to one side – having too much on to take time out for ourselves.

And yet, taking this time for self-care is important to allow us take time to relax and recover. Giving us a chance to escape for the demands of our lives and focus on us – something that sounds completely selfish. In this instance being “selfish” in taking this time is vital and you shouldn’t feel guilty for doing it.

It is important when thinking about self-care that it is, quite simply, taking care of yourself and what works for someone else might not work for you. I indicated above that going out for a run is helpful for me – I am NOT a runner… but having that time, with music playing, allows me either to work through what is making me anxious, or to block it out temporarily to bring myself clarity. I always feel better after I’ve been out (mentally… physically my whole body aches… but it than annoyingly good way).

In the past I have tried many different self-care methods, for me they always centre around music. Music has always been part of my life (as I write this I am listening to Magic at the Musicals), I use it to focus, motivate and escape.

Some people struggle to know where to start when it comes to self-care. I am far from an expert and would be the first to say that I am guilty of being too busy for it. After last week, I have committed to taking an hour out of my week to dedicate to self-care and have invited the students that I am studying alongside to join me should they wish. My hope is that this hour each week will allow us to come together and support each other in our own self-care as a community.

If you have found yourself struggling this year then know that you are not alone, talk to your family and friends, or a professional if that would be useful (there are some links at the end of this blog if you don’t know where to start). But also know that it’s ok not to be ok. Taking that first step is the hardest and there is a ‘one size fits all’ answer. If you try something and it doesn’t work or feel right, try something else. And, maybe find someone else to share you experiences with – they may have some advice to offer.

As a society we need to get better and talking about what is going on in our lives, and how the people around us can help. Knowing that saying that ‘No’ can be a big step to practicing self-care.

If you do feel in need of help or support at this time there is plenty of information on the Mind website, here are some helpful links:

There is also helpful information on the NHS Every Mind Matters website https://www.nhs.uk/oneyou/every-mind-matters.

We hear a lot in the news that mental health services are stretched to the limit – but they are still there to help you. Please don’t suffer in silence because you don’t want to burden them further.

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